I never dreamed of having a big wedding, or even any wedding at all. When I met my now husband, he agreed that he would be happy eloping. But when the time came and we were getting married it became clear that the event was not for us but for our families — for each of us to introduce the people who had shaped our lives to our new spouse and for our families to get to know this new person. This ritual seemed especially important in light of the fact that we come from such different cultures. My husband is a Kurdish Turk, raised Muslim. In the end, we had three weddings.
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Hence the wildly popular speed dating sessions at the largest annual Muslim conference in North America were given an entirely more.
By Tammy La Gorce. Rabiah Gul had a couple of goals in mind when she first met Marcus Harun. First, she wanted to show him that she was the savvy New Yorker he was expecting. She also wanted to return home knowing he was the man she should marry, even though she had no intention of kissing him, hugging, or holding his hand. Gul, 27, of Middle Village, Queens, and Mr.
Harun, also 27, of Hamden, Conn. Both had signed up because they sensed that meeting a religiously compatible partner in their daily lives might be a challenge. Gul is a lifelong New York City resident born into a large, mostly female Pakistani family. In addition to her parents and three sisters, she was raised in close contact with an aunt and four cousins, all girls, who also live in Queens.
Harun is as suburban as Ms.
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Enter Eshq (“love” in Persian) is a new dating app aimed at young Muslim women “I looked at Muslim dating websites that are archaic, geared more toward a “Growing up in America with older generation parents makes it hard to do things.
The series describes, with tart precision and irony, the lives of young American Muslims who may drink, have sex, and believe in God—and who keep much of their lives secret from their parents and their friends. Youssef plays the title character, Ramy, who is unclear about what type of Muslim he is or ought to be. He dates non-Muslim women but hides his religion. Put off less by his beliefs than by his deceit, she walks away.
In response, he decides to try dating Muslim women, and he asks his parents to set him up. Ramy displays a catalogue of misguided assumptions about not only his parents but other Egyptians and Muslims. Toward the end of the series, Ramy decides to go to Egypt to figure himself out. It is his first trip there in fifteen years, and his pre-formed view of Egypt is shattered the minute he lands.
He keeps asking his cousin to take him to mosques; instead, the cousin takes him to a party that is no different from the ones Ramy tired of in New York.
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Ishqr is an online.
Some call it haram — or forbidden — but more Muslims than ever are turning to apps like Minder and Muzmatch to find romance. When my friend first told me she was looking for a partner on Minder, I thought it was a typo. She didn’t. Minder is a real thing, an app Muslims use to browse local singles, much like Tinder. As a Muslim, you get used to people not understanding your life. They don’t get why you cover your hair or why you don’t eat during Ramadan, the holy month of fasting. And they definitely don’t get how Muslim relationships work.
A new mobile dating app is hoping to fill a void that many Muslims and millennials struggle with: melding Western social norms with cultural expectations found in their homelands. For first- and second-generation Muslims in the U. There are other apps geared toward Muslims on the market, including Minder, Ishqr, Muzmatch and Salaam Swipe, but some of them have a reputation within Muslim circles as hookup apps, Bahawdory said. In addition to women making the first move on the app, Eshq differs from other online dating apps for its friend finder feature, video uploads and Spotify integration, Bahawdory said.
There are also planned Eshq events, with the goal of connecting people who have things in common and similar life goals.
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On a rainy New York night, Chelsa Cheyenne holds onto her peach-colored shayla, a scarf covering all but an inch of her hair, and ducks into a pizzeria in the West Village. The shayla is a recent addition to her wardrobe, a symbol of modesty reflecting her recent conversion to Islam. Cheyenne had just left a mixer hosted at the Islamic Center at New York University, a discreet way to allow single Muslims to meet and potentially form relationships.
A riff on the dating app Tinder, this version boasts more than , Muslim users. Before the first date? How early is too early? New York City offers a buffet of dating options, but the search for a significant other can still be tough for anyone. And for young Muslims trying to balance their desire for love with the expectations of their religion, the dating scene can be even harder.
But for young American Muslims, whose parents and grandparents adhered to more traditional and strict family obligations in dating, or had arranged marriages, the pull of familial expectations can be strong.
One of those names probably looks less familiar than the others, and for good reason. Young Muslim Americans aren’t exactly dominant in the mainstream dating conversation, and that’s because “dating while Muslim” is its own unique, oft-misunderstood reality. And with devout religion comes tradition that doesn’t necessarily mesh with modern dating culture.
While planning my weddings I googled, “I married a Muslim. I’m American, raised Irish Catholic just outside of Chicago. The core beliefs that my husband and I share, such as service, kindness, charity, and dignity for all people, are.
Using data from the general population in the US, it would seem that these community elders are well within their right to worry. Since , the proportion of married US adults has fallen nearly 20 percentage points, while about half of all adults question the societal value of marriage altogether. Yet, even if Muslims as a whole outpace other comparable groups in marriage rate, the likelihood of being married may vary across key demographics. Figure 3 dives a bit deeper, revealing differences between American Muslim single men and single women.
Since we do not have data from other time periods, it is hard to say whether this has always been the case in the Muslim community or whether these gaps are the result of recent trends. What is clear, however, is though there are more single Muslim men than Muslim women, single Muslim women may struggle to find a spouse as educated or religious as they are. This suggests that Muslim single women face a unique challenge when looking for spouses of comparable education and religious devotion.
The article has been edited for length. What are the marriage trends among American Muslims? Marriage is a constant topic in American Muslim circles.
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W hen Northern Virginia native Humaira Mubeen traveled to Pakistan earlier this year to meet with the parents of potential suitors, no one was smitten. Still, she stayed long enough to go through three rounds of interviews and reject every family. She was there on a mission; not to find a husband, but to learn how others went about getting married. Ishqr is an online dating site for millennial Muslims.
Mubeen grew up in Centreville, a Washington DC suburb, with few Muslim acquaintances to relate her experiences to. Most Muslim parents told their daughters to stop talking to Muslim boys when they reached puberty. She started making Muslim friends when she headed to George Washington University to study psychology and international affairs.